Dating Information

Four Dating Rules You Must Know To Transform Your Love Life


Dating is the first step to love. I am going to give you a simple guide to find your dream-lover. First of all, you will need to call the following basic equipment into full action: brain, eyes, ears, lips and hands. That's all you need, at least in the beginning. Hang on, I know what you are going to say, "are you nuts Zak forgetting the vital ones." Let me clear this mystery once and for all, which has dazzled billions for thousands of years. I am talking about love here. Before feeling the warmth of the fire, it has to be built up from a spark.

Learning to redirect the energy going out and coming into your body through thoughts, vision, hearing, speech and actions in a way which others will find attractive is absolutely critical and is where most tumble. Even moving the mouse or typing on the keyboard is use of energy. It is vital to bring your energy in tune with the wavelengths of your love-interest.

You may ask, "why is it then when I put so much into my relationship with an ex it did not work"? Fair question. Here is a simple tip which will forever change the way you look at people. Do you agree every person has a right to do whatever they want if it is not intruding in anyone else's business? "Yes?" - Correct answer!

Let's look at an example. When you offer to do something for others to the point where they feel like you are not allowing them to make choices of their own, you have intruded on their right to independence. This causes them to resent and think you are trying to enforce your will even though your intentions are completely different. Of course no one should stop doing favors for their lover or helping out. Simply be yourself and allow others to be themselves.

The first and most important rule in love is to respect the individuality of your lover allowing him/her to make own choices. If you make decisions together, consult to show you believe in him/her.

Second love requires effort. Everything in life is determined by how much you put behind it. Sometimes luck may give you an edge, but only those who work on it stay ahead. Have fun and stop treating it like something you need but find inconvenient getting done. Prioritize and put more time and energy behind it like you would behind getting an education or doing a job. Go for it with passion. Believe if not today, there is a tomorrow!

The third rule is to be confident. I cannot stress this rule enough even if I were to hang on a tree upside down for you. "Yeah but I can never gather the nerves", is what you may tell me. There are tons of ways to boost yourself for which I don't even have space to write. I will show you the fastest and easiest way, which is to stop the things which destroy confidence. If you are able to stop negative influences, you will automatically be able to disengage from the battles of life and focus on doing some gardening in your love life. From my experience and research the main reasons because of which people's wills crumble are:

  • Past experiences
  • Current relationships
  • Work environments
  • Pre-set attitudes
  • Lack of Communication
  • Too much negativity. Too little positiveness
  • Refusal to disengage from battles when victory is more expensive than loss
  • Each one of us is fully capable of doing whatever our heart desires. Everyone's case is different and you will have to look at specific issues and see where to make improvements. Not all changes are easy and sometimes you may have to choose an option which looks less secure but at least you are exchanging for happiness. What worth is life lived in sorrow?

    The last and most important rule is to be ready to change. Only by setting a new course will you be able to steer the heart out of the stormy waters of pain and loneliness. Decide now on what you want? Take a sheet of paper and write down, the questions which have been bugging you, with detailed answers. Empty the sadness, so your mind can think clearly. Are you happy the way you are right now? If you had an opportunity to get to where ever you always wanted to be, are you ready to rise? Are you ready to stand up from the past and build a future? Arise if you believe you deserve better! Remember hardships may come by, but those who pursue the path of their hearts with honest ambition never fail.

    You don't have to become a different person overnight. Just starting the process by doing one little thing a day consistently is enough to change the direction of your life. Of course if you have the courage to make whole-scale changes go for it. Most importantly, never look back once you decide to move forward.

    Take the above rules to your heart and I will guarantee your love life will explode with more sound and resonance than you ever dreamed. Also keep in mind even though you do need to work on the above to attract the right people don't hold yourself responsible if your previous lovers let you down for something which was not your fault. The rule of Karma is what goes around comes around and they will reap the fruits which they sow. Be reasonable. It is not the end of the world and move on because there is still much more to explore.

    You have the tools and the fire of passion to convert desire into reality. Drop the hooks you have been using to fish in the pond of love and look into its waters as the reflection leads to the path from which dreams emerge.

    Visit Zakaria Adam at http://www.GrandLover.com for advice on relationships, dating, romance and Love.


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    Supplementary Article

    Meeting Your Online Date in Safety

    01/06/09

     by: Caroline Mackenzie

    Here are some common sense safety tips for meeting your online date in person. Your instincts will play a strong role in keeping you safe too, so listen to them and take action if you feel uncomfortable or alarmed at any time. Remember, there’s also a good chance that your date is perfectly genuine. Tread a sensible line between optimism and caution and your date will safe and enjoyable.

    Meet when you’re ready:

    Don’t be pressured into meeting your online date. One of the big attractions of online dating is that you can find out the important stuff - be sure there’s a real possibility for a relationship – up front, so take your time and make the most of it. Your offline date should confirm and enhance your feelings, not lead to disappointment, or nasty surprises!

    Meet in a public place:

    Hopefully most of you are yawning at this. However, when you’ve build up some trust online, and share an interest in lonely country walks, say, a lonely country walk might seem like a great idea for a first date. Give yourself a severe reality check when arranging a first date. First dates should always be in well-populated, public places.

    Meet in a familiar or well-known area:

    You need to be able to find your way home, or back to your hotel room, quickly and easily. Don’t travel into unfamiliar neighborhoods and if you’ve traveled to an unfamiliar city to meet your date, choose a hotel in a central area that’s well known to taxi drivers and locals.

    Meet in a place where you’re not well known:

    For first dates, avoid favorite hangouts where everyone knows you and your business. Your date can return to pry information out of your favorite bartender or friends, or turn up uninvited – bad news if you decide not to pursue the relationship.

    Travel independently:

    Revealing where you live, where you’re staying or getting into a strange vehicle puts you at risk. Be sure to make your own way to and from your date, and don’t be persuaded otherwise. If you make your travel arrangements ahead of time, you’ll have a good excuse for refusing any offers to pick you up or drop you home, and if your date’s half the person you think they are, they’ll respect your independence and caution.

    Make your own arrangements:

    Don’t let your date take over and make all the decisions about where you go, what you do, and, if you’re traveling from another city, where you stay. Make your own travel arrangements (I’ve said this already, but it’s important), book your own hotel, and make sure you and your common sense get to play a big role in deciding when and where your date takes place.

    Tell a friend or relative about your date:

    Make sure someone knows who you’re meeting (their full name and phone number), when, where and at what time you expect to be back.

    Take your cell phone:

    If you don’t have a cell phone, borrow one. Arrange for someone to call you at a certain time to check up on how your date is going, and how you’re feeling about it. Agree beforehand on some phrases that will let them know, without giving the game away to your date, whether it’s going well or whether you need to put a pre-arranged escape plan into action.

    Don’t drink too much:

    Sure, a drink can calm your nerves but be careful not to overdo it and lose your ability to make safe and sensible decisions.

    Leave if you feel uncomfortable:

    You’re excited about your date, you want it to go well, to give it every chance of success but (and it’s a big but) don’t let this tempt you into ignoring or excusing the fact that something doesn’t feel right. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t. Trust your instincts, admit it and get out of there. If necessary, enlist the help of a waiter or manager or some other person that can help you make a get away, perhaps feigning a call from home or showing you an alternative way out of the building. Remember though, it’s not necessary to explain yourself to your date. Simply leave.

    Watch for strange behavior:

    When you meet offline, dating should fall into a natural, comfortable pattern. Stop dating if it doesn’t. For instance, if your date always wants to meet some distance from where they live or work, is reluctant to introduce you to friends or family, or has strange rules about how and when you call each other, something’s very wrong.

    Copyright 2004 Caroline Mackenzie

    About The Author

    Caroline Mackenzie is Co-Owner/Webmaster of The Dating Muse, the complete guide to online dating services and personals featuring in-depth reviews of the top online dating sites plus tips and ideas for finding friends, dates, soulmates and sexual adventure online. Visit her site at http://DatingMuse.com and for lighthearted, sometimes serious insights into the dating game, online and off, subscribe to her newsletter, at http://datingmuse.com/subscribe.htm

    caroline@datingmuse.com

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