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Dating Information
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Wow, Grandma Is
Dating! 07/28/07
by: Allie Ochs
When Lena, 52, began dating, her son, Paul, joined the same
dating site. Together, mother and son set out to find love. Lena’s
family was concerned for her. After 30 years of marriage, she was very
vulnerable. What did she know about dating or sexually transmitted
diseases? Lena knew one thing: love does not have a best-before date.
Lena is one of many fiery over 50 dames with lots of life. The
idea of dating put a sparkle into her eyes. After a few unproductive
“let’s meet for coffee” dates, she struck gold! Ryan, whom she met in
her doctor’s waiting room, was everything she hoped for. A widower
without children, Ryan was like a breath of fresh air. He put romance
and zest into her life. They fell madly in love and lived happily ever
after.
This is a dating dream come true for most older, single women.
Today, dating over 50 is just as common as dating at a younger age.
However, there are profound differences in life circumstances and
experiences. Unfortunately, not all dating adventures of older singles
have happy endings. Dating at a mature age comes with baggage. Ex
wives, stepchildren, step-grandchildren, in-laws, lifestyles or
commitments, just to name a few. This baggage prevents many singles
from creating close relationships. Yet, there are good news for all
mature singles, who have not found their “one and only”:
As a mature person you have qualities such patience, integrity,
and wisdom and are much better equipped for relationship success than
the younger generation. Use exactly those qualities to find love and
avoid silly dating etiquettes. While dating can be fun and highly
entertaining, for most singles over 50 it is about finding a life-
mate. Regardless of your relationship history, love can last the
second time around. Just trust your instinct and follow these common
sense tips:
BE TRUTHFUL about yourself. Naturally you want to paint your
very best picture, but the key to finding a compatible love is being
authentic instead of pretending. Being real may not guarantee a huge
number of dates, but at this stage in your life it is about quality,
not quantity. You are mature and don’t need a black book filled with
admirers.
RESPECT that a first date is like a fishing trip. Both parties
want to determine if there is enough interest for a second date. Be on
time and be interested in your date. Share your likes and dislikes
openly. By all means give each other a chance, but if you are not
interested, make it easy to call the quits. Treat your date the way
you would want to be treated.
TIME is of essence.
This begs the question as to when a relationship begins. You
have graduated from the coffee shop to seeing a movie. He wined and
dinned you and now invites you to a barbeque with friends. While this
is not a marriage proposal, it is nevertheless personal. No red flags
have popped up yet and you accept the invitation. This has the
potential for a relationship. Now is the time to get to know him
instead of looking over the shoulder for other suitors. Here is why:
often relationships between dating singles never develop because they
are occupied with multiple dates. Sleeping with multiple dates is
morally irresponsible to each one. Be as responsible as you would be
to your best friend, because he may be that some day.
3. Authenticity: Love only happens when you are real
Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone
else did? Told someone had a fabulous time when you didn’t or said: “I
love you” when you didn’t mean it? Did you ever do something
inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or get what
you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be
real! For many there is quite a gap between the person inside and the
person we present to the world. In the competitive world of dating
misrepresentation is at an all time high.
If you seek love, forget about how to make him fall in love with
you. Forget about Mars and Venus, in the real world we are all human
beings first, men and women second. Most singles over 50 want to love
and belong. Wear what makes you feel like a million dollar babe, not
what you think impresses him. While you are not to disclose your
sexual history on a first date, be straightforward on topics that you
are comfortable with. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be
authentic and be honest! Don’t waste your precious time pretending to
be what you are not. You may not land many second dates, but at this
stage it is about quality, not quantity. Love only happens when you
are real.
These three universal principles are no-fail dating concepts
that keep you sane and on the road to love. To boost your dating
success, Ivana Trump is adding a bonus for all the fabulous and mature
women. In her new TV show she introduces older women to younger men.
Sounds like the Demi Moore style of dating is gaining popularity. With
quite a few older men dating much younger women, Ivana is
orchestrating a balancing act. Love has no boundaries, is ageless and
keeps you young. Maybe Ivana’s reality show will get you in the
groove.
About The Author
© 2004 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert Speaker, Coach and
Author of: Are You Fit To Love? www.fit2love.com
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